January 26, 2020 (t-2 days)

I’m getting my ACL on my left knee rebuilt on Tuesday the 28th of January. I’m excited to get home. The only anxiety I have is around making sure I don’t push it too hard early. I am a little nervous about the pain that I may have after the surgery but I guess it can’t be any worse than the pain I have already experienced by tearing my ACL.

This brings me to my emotions and feelings. Somebody else caused this injury. It was a reckless play done by a competitor of mine. It took me out and has sidelined me for a year. 

I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt me but this has really sucked. It’s thrown me into a bit of a depressive state because I’ve been unable to do anything very active since September of 2019. I won’t be back on the ice or on the soccer pitch until September of 2020.

I don’t know what its lasting effect will be on my psyche or how I play either hockey or soccer but I can’t imagine I’ll be as aggressive as I previously was right away.

Shit happens and at least I got injured doing something fun. Other people tear their ACL getting off a ladder. 

I really want to be in a position to run the marathon this October. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do it but I’m gonna try. So this is going to document my journey to the starting line or to the decision to skip it for this year. I will still do everything as if I’m still in but with guidance from my doctors, my body and my mind I will figure it out when the time comes.

I just want the surgery done and out of the way so I can get on the road to recovery and winning again.

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